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When I was a kid, I used to think a condom was a letter that each sexual partner signs to indicate that they’ve had sex. Later, I learned that a condom was a dick balloon that turns an otherwise euphoric experience into an uphill battle in staying erect. Kids growing up these days have the greatest sexual education tool of all–the internet. I had to learn the hard way–through movies like American Pie and that hardcore VHS I stole from my uncle’s place.
Redditor happyasgary posed the question: What preconceptions about sex did you once have which were completely wrong? Here are the juiciest answers.
When I first discovered masturbating. I thought I invented it.
When I first started masturbating I was never very interested in penetrating myself because it never felt that good compared to rubbing my clit, so I assumed that sex would be the guy putting his wiener between my labia like a hotdog in a bun and just moving back and forth- only ever penetrating me if we intended to make a baby. The hotdog bun thing did turn out to be pretty fun foreplay, though.
Maybe not exactly what you were looking for but when I was a kid I thought that oral sex meant people talking nasty to each other. I wasn’t 100% convinced though.
I thought that you just put your penis in, had an orgasm, then pulled it out. Like the vajayjay is some magical hole that makes you cum instantly…
Turns out I was right.
I thought each testicle held one sperm and that was all you’d ever get. First time I masturbated I realized with horror I could only have one kid. Then of course I did it again the following night and concluded I was doomed never to have kids.
I used to think a blowjob consisted of breathing heavily over someone’s dick. Thankfully I watched porn before I gave my first blowjob.
I didn’t realize if a guy cums in you it would come right back out. I guess I always just thought the baby juice would get magically absorbed by the vajay. In a weird way I felt like I had to give birth to his jizz.
I always thought that an erect penis was super rigid and would stick straight out away from the man’s body no matter what. I spent ages agonising over how the missionary position could work.
The first time I gave a handjob and realised that an erect penis could actually move around to different angles, everything suddenly made SO MUCH sense.
It’s easy for you and your partner to climax at the same time. What a sick joke
I thought butt fucking was mashing your butt up again at someone else’s butt. It isn’t.
[h/t Reddit]