Rihanna Looks Good. Rihanna Looks REAL GOOD.

rihanna cbs nfl

Rihanna looks good. Rihanna looks REAL GOOD. So good that if your girl caught your jaw hitting the floor as she passed, she’d rub your back softly and whisper in your ear “I know, baby. I know. You’re human.” So good that a TSA agent would “randomly” select her for a security screening at the airport. So good that Tim Tebow would burn a bible just to smell her hair. THAT good.

The 29-year-old was wearing a bejeweled bikini at the annual Crop Over Festival in her native land of Barbados. The Crop Over Festival is a West Indian celebration marking the end of the sugar-cane harvest. You’re not reading this, are you? Of course they aren’t, Matt, you idiot. You’re the human incarnation of the “Are You 18?” before you enter a porn site. GIVE THE PEOPLE WHAT THEY WANT.

Ok, ok. Don’t be so hard on yourself.



You thought I was kidding didn’t you. Tell your friends, far and wide: Rihanna looks good. Rihanna looks REAL GOOD.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.