Patriots Owner Bob Kraft Was At The Oscars And Should Have Won The Award For ‘Hottest Girlfriend 40+ Years Younger’

Bob Kraft is a 74-yer-old business magnate worth an estimated $4 billion who has a Harvard degree and a handful of Super Bowl victories. He is the very definition of success. Actually, it’s not success–it’s something greater–it’s the type of prosperity that allows a 74-year-old man to date a 34-year-old smoke pistol who wouldn’t look in my direction at the bar.

Kraft wore actress, model, former dancer, and girlfriend Ricki Lander on his arms for the Oscars last night and may be the luckiest 74-year-old on the planet. The two have been dating for a few years, save a short-time when the two had a falling out after she wanted to get married and Kraft refused. Like a boss.

Check her out. Close your eyes. Imagine if your grandfather brought her as his new girlfriend to Thanksgiving dinner.

Senior citizen goals.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.