Things Come in All Shapes and Sizes in This Week’s Hottie Index

Rihanna

It’s no surprise that Rihanna was topless when on a photo-shoot in Brazil. The bigger surprise might’ve been had she not been topless. She wears clothes less often the girls at Spearmint Rhino. What did truly catch our attention, however, was that she’s the “realest since Tupac.” The story told by New York radio personality Charlemagne describes Rihanna as a major bad ass. Maybe it’s true or maybe it’s not, but it’s one hell of a story.

Taylor Momsen

Speaking of young girls who hate being fully clothed, Momsen was up to her old tricks this week. She’s got a new album coming out soon, which is why she decided to release some photos showing she likes to have fun. Who doesn’t take a fossil of some dead animal and put it into their mouth like that? I saw a girl do that on the street the other day without blinking an eye. I think Momsen is also trying to tell people she likes anal. Arrows usually lead the way.

Kelly Brook

There’s more nudity as we head to the midway point of the Index. Brook attended an awards show in London this week and just happened to not be wearing a bra with her see through dress. There was some debate as to whether it was planned, but Brook’s bared her assets before. Perhaps she was looking for a bit of a splash. Unlike the two ladies listed before her, she’s got a lot more to splash with.

Katy Perry (pictured above)

Never to be outdone in the category of big breasts, enter Katy Perry stage right. Perry didn’t win a Grammy for song of the year, but she did pray to God for huge breasts. Thankfully for her and us, those prayers were answered. Maybe she could pray to God tonight that she could show these breasts without clothes to people without being any negative attention. I know that’s what I’m going to pray for tonight. Continuing to see those things locked up in clothing is just a huge tease.

Rachel Mortenson

I doubt you’re rushing to Hardees to pick up a “Philly Cheesesteak Thickburger” anytime soon despite seeing the constant advertisements with Terrell Owens. I’m sure the cheesesteak I could get down the street tastes better than whatever they’ve got in that burger. I could be convinced if Hardees gave away a side of those tits shown next to the burger in the commercial with every order. Mortenson happens to be the proud owner of those hooba habbas and her unveiling in this commercial at least lets her capture some national attention.