Not that you, rando dude on your couch checking BroBible, ever had a chance with Sofia Vergara, but it is with heavy hearts that we bring you the news that the beautiful, curvaceous, vivacious love of our lives is now engaged to her partner of just six months, Joe Man Jello.
Man Jello proposed over the Christmas holiday in front of her family, and the Modern Family star was seen sporting a rock on her ring finger over the weekend, according to US Weekly.
However, Vergara has broken off an engagement before, so maybe there’s hope for you.
There’s no hope for you.
Here is a picture of Sofia Vergara.