PYT
PYT, the Philly burger aficionados, made news this week with their Deep-Fried Twinkie Burger. It sounds like the most gluttonous food on Earth, but I’ve found 5 fairly common items that have more calories than it.
Based on the super scientific research done by DailyMail, the Deep-Friend Twinkie Burger packs a ridiculous 1,100 calories. Did you know these foods (plus one bonus beer) had more than that?
1135 calories – Chipotle burrito
Chipotle
A Chipotle burrito with steak, black beans, hot salsa, corn, sour cream, cheese, and lettuce rolls in at 1135 calories. While it’s easy to make a more healthy burrito, this isn’t an absurd creation either. I’d call it pretty standard. After all, they do say “sour cream and cheese” as a statement, not a question, when you’re going down the line.
1140 calories – Subway Footlong Chicken Bacon and Ranch
Subway
Subway gets a lot of slack thanks to their whole Eat Fresh and 6 grams of fat shtick. They fool you with low numbers based on a few 6″ subs, but who’s satisfied with just six inches? A Footlong Chicken Bacon & Ranch will cost you 1140 calories, and that’s just with their shitty wheat bread.
1230 calories – Applebees Boneless Buffalo Wings
Applebees
Who doesn’t love eatin’ good in the neighborhood? There were plenty of things on Applees menu with over 1100 calories (fajitas, burgers, quesadillas), but the one that might surprise you is a single order of Boneless Buffalo Wings. You can eat all the celery sticks you want, those “negative calories” won’t counteract the 1230 calories from this one basic appetizer.
1490 calories – Chili’s California Grilled Chicken Flatbread
Chilis
You’re not quite committed enough to get a salad, but you do have the will power to pick a flatbread over the delicious 1700 calorie ribs. Congrats! That California Grilled Chicken Flatbread has 1490 calories. You might as well have just gotten the ribs you filthy pig.
1780 calories – Sonic Blast (Large, Oreo)
Sonic
It’s finally time for dessert. You went healthy by eating at Subway, so now you get to treat yourself. Why not try a Large Oreo Sonic Blast? Enjoy that 1780 calories and your imminent death. This super-shake remains the most sneaky collection of calories I’ve ever seen.
Brewmeister Snake Venom – 2025
Brewmeister
Snake Venom from Brewmeister just took over the top spot on the list of strongest beers in the world thanks to its 67.5% ABV, but that isn’t it’s only powerful number. It also has an estimated 2025 calories per bottle. This is going to cause a big problem, because now I have to drink on an empty stomach. See you in hell.