A bunch of assholes got married at 9:10 on 11/12/13 because they’re assholes

Everyone, I would like your attention. Please, give me a few moments of your time. Do you know someone who got married at 9:10 on 11/12/13? Because apparently that’s a thing. Apparently, 3000 couples did it this morning. Here’s one couple who tied the knot on the Today show. Assholes.


Sure, I don’t know them. I didn’t even bother to learn their names. But they’re assholes. I’m sure of it. Only an asshole would think it’s cool to get married because the numbers line up together. Only an asshole would do it on live television.


DISCLAIMER: ‘Asshole’ is a term of endearment. This is a joke. So too is getting married at 9:10 on 11/12/13.