Bell’s Planet Series can only be described as Neil deGrasse Tyson’s wet dream. Journey through space with seven beers, each of which is named after a planet. Screw you Pluto!
Bell’s Planet Series is the latest creative endeavor from the top-notch craft brewery in Michigan. The beers are based on the seven movements in Gustav Holst’s epic (used literally) “The Planets, Op. 32.” If you’ve never listened to it, scroll down and prepare yourself for a much more intense day.
You’re probably wondering what happened to Earth. We’re a planet too; why don’t we get a spot in Bell’s Planet Series? Technically we get all the beers… unless ET is coming to steal them along with our Reese’s Pieces. The movements in “The Planets” are based on the astrological entities, not astronomical. Meaning we’re specifically talking about Mars and the Roman God of War and not just that red planet over there.
Bell’s Planet Series Beers:
“Mars, The Bringer of War” – Double IPA
“Venus, The Bringer of Peace” – A Blonde Ale brewed with honey, apricot, vanilla and cardamom
“Mercury, The Winged Messenger” – A Belgian Single
“Jupiter, The Bringer of Jollity” – A malt forward Brown Ale
“Saturn, The Bringer of Old Age” – A Bourbon Barrel-aged Barleywine
“Uranus, The Magician” – Black Double IPA
“Neptune, The Mystic” – A beer inspired by Dr. Bell’s Medicinal Stout, one of Larry Bell’s homebrews that also helped inspire Eccentric Ale
Again, no Pluto. While people are upset that favorite Disney dog isn’t a planet anymore, Gutav Holst’s “The Planets” actually pre-dates Pluto. He wasn’t being spiteful, like me only referring to the Sears Tower as the Willis Tower to piss off Chicagoans. He just didn’t know that extra rock way out there even existed.
And before you run to the comments to complain that Bell’s Planet Series is out of order (you’re out of order), they’re arranged in the same order as Holsts orchestral orgasm.
The first beer will be released in August, with the next beer being released two months later. Luckily for those not in MI, the Bell’s Planet Series will be shipped across their entire distribution footprint.