Michael Bay is making a TV show about pirates. We’re in the Mad Libs era of entertainment, people. I make plenty of jokes at the expense of Michael Bay, but I have to give him credit on this one: producing a TV show about pirates on Starz is exactly where he should be. The network is basically all the titties and blood of HBO without any of the intelligence, so he’ll fit right in. Black Sails tells the tale of Captain Flint from Robert Louis Stevenson’s Treasure Island (in the public domain, because that’s where we get ideas now) 20 years before the book, as he swashbuckles around the depraved, violent town of New Providence. Black Sails premieres in January.