Tony Stark likes the booze, but I bet he’d get high with you if you caught him at the right time. Straight up, Iron Man 3 is the best solo superhero movie and they finally got the villain right. The big problem with the first two Iron Man movies is that the bad guys were kind of lame. But if you read the comics, his villains in the comics are all pretty lame too. He doesn’t have a rogues’ gallery like Spider-Man does where they all have personalities, you know? They’re mostly just evil scientists or bruisers.
Anyways, okay, here’s what the movie’s about. It takes place after Avengers, and Tony Stark is a little freaked out by how insane the world’s become what with all these superheroes and monsters and stuff, so he’s built a bunch of new armors. They don’t do much to protect him from the Mandarin, played awesomely by Ben Kingsley, who just wrecks his life totally, destroying his house and stranding him in North Carolina with a barely-working armor. And there’s a bunch of stuff about this genetic treatment that makes people blow up that’s kind of dumb but whatever.
So Tony gets his groove back, because that’s how these movies work, and strikes back against the Mandarin who’s kidnapped the President and James Rhodes is back (as “Iron Patriot” instead of “War Machine” because that’s kind of a gross name) and they save the President and Gwyneth Paltrow gets super powers, okay? I just spoiled some stuff for you there. Sorry.
But you know, this isn’t a movie you see for the “plot.” It’s just an excuse to watch big action CGI scenes mixed in with Robert Downey Jr. being the coolest rich guy in the world. So that’s the best part about it. It’s a fun movie and the Mandarin is awesome (I didn’t spoil something about him yet and I guess I won’t here) and it’ll probably make a bajillion bucks but after Avengers it doesn’t raise the stakes, you know? It’s just more of the same and should probably be the last Iron Man movie for a while.
Disclaimer: I fixed all the typos and grammatical errors but left everything else in.