Blazed Movie Reviews: ‘Warm Bodies’

Summit Entertainment

I can’t smoke pot anymore because I’m afraid my kids will become weed zombies. So I do it at the movies! This week: Warm Bodies, a post-apocalyptic love story between a girl and her zombie.

I went into Warm Bodies not expecting much. Zombies are pretty played out at this point (sorry, but it’s true) and supernatural love stories just make me think of Twilight, which I’d rather not have to think about ever again. But you know what? I enjoyed this movie and I might even have enjoyed it if I wasn’t high.

Here’s a quick plot summary to get you up to speed: all the poop went down and the undead are now basically in charge of the Earth. There are some humans left in a walled-off fortress but they occasionally have to leave to get supplies. Zombies aren’t just brainless creatures, though – they have some semblance of consciousness and can even communicate with each other through grunts and moans. If a zombie doesn’t eat human flesh on the regular, though, it degrades into a mindless skeleton. And when a zombie eats human brains, it sort of gets high on our memories.

So our lead zombie is named “R” and he eats a girl survivor named Julie’s boyfriend and, as a result, falls in love with her through his memories. Then he does something most bogus and un-zombielike and saves her life. She takes him into the compound where she introduces him to her father who doesn’t believe that he’s capable of change. And then the skeletons attack!

So it’s a classic romantic story under a couple million gallons of blood and guts and it’s actually pretty good. The worst thing about it is the stupid skeletons which are all CGI and just look really bad, like lame British PC adventure game bad. They shouldn’t have done the thing with the skeletons but I guess they needed them so whatever. The ending is also kind of corny because apparently kissing turns a zombie back into a living person? I don’t know if I want to be the guy to test that theory. Oh, sorry for spoiling it there. That’s a spoiler.

Disclaimer: I fixed all the typos and grammatical errors but left all the other dumb stuff in.