I can’t smoke pot at home anymore because I’m terrified of letting strange dudes into my house. So I do it at the movies. This week: a seriously scary-ass home invasion movie in You’re Next.
I don’t get scared easily by scary movies because I’m a grown-ass man and not a little baby who thinks movies are real. But I kind of peed a little bit when I watched You’re Next and I’ll tell you why. It’s because, unlike most horror movies, there’s nothing truly implausible about what happens here. We live in a world full of lunatics already and all it’ll take is a tiny shove to push us into anarchy.
You’re Next is about a family called the Davidsons who all get together for a reunion commemorating the 35th anniversary of the parents. And then arrows start flying through the windows and creeps in animal masks start cutting suckers up and all Hell breaks loose. Most of the family is composed of selfish, lousy people so there’s some good feelings when they die.
Since this is a horror movie, we’ve got a girl who fights back, and she’s one of the best in recent history. Erin, the new addition to the family, grew up in an Australian survivalist compound and when the opportunity comes to turn the tables on the invaders she seizes it with gusto. The gore is nasty, with some of the best slow-motion scenes I’ve seen in a while. Of course, things turn out to not be as simple as they seem, but that’s to be expected.
This is a good horror movie. It’s sharp and mean and has some bladder-loosening shocks. I’m a guy who has a family and sometimes I worry that my family is going to be murdered in front of me. I also worry (uh this is a spoiler) that my family is going to hire people to murder me. Is that something normal people worry about? I dunno.
Go see You’re Next this weekend. It’s good.
Disclaimer: I fixed all the typos and grammar errors but left everything else in.