Cop impersonator goes all-in on laziness, might be a genius

Florida man was recently apprehended after falsely impersonating a peace keeper, all for the sake of shaving a few extra steps off his commute….brilliant or nah?

Jose Ortiz, 49, was picked up by cops down in Orange County, Florida when they found him impersonating an officer. His ensemble was complete with pepper spray, handcuffs, and even a taser. This dude took it about as far as anyone can go.

Why would Mr. Ortiz impersonate an officer of the law? Well, it seems all he wanted was a better parking spot.

ClickOrlando reports:

Orange County deputies arrested a man they say was claiming to be a cop conducting an investigation so he could get a parking spot.

According to the report, Ortiz told another man he was a cop and if the man tried to tow his car, he would arrest him.

When deputies found and arrested Ortiz, he had a Taser, pepper-spray and handcuffs on his utility belt. He also had an Orange County Sheriff’s Office sticker on his car, according to the report.

Like I said, this Florida man wen’t all in on impersonation…you don’t falsely threaten to arrest someone on a whim. This dude really f*cking cares about his quality of parking.

Things I’d impersonate a cop for ranked:

To skip the bathroom lines at FSU games.
To skip the bathroom lines at Phish concerts.
To skip the bathroom lines at all you can eat buffets.


This is what it looks like when liberals shoot guns for their first time

And this is a grown man stuck in a baby’s high chair