The Eagles’ $64,000 bill from a steakhouse is probably fake—still not amusing

The Philadelphia Eagles ran up a $64,000 tab at a steakhouse and made their rookies pay for it because being stupid with your money is really cool guys! Ugh.

I guess I don’t find this amusing. I don’t find it amusing because most rookies have no idea how to handle their finances. Most rookies have no idea that 40% of their salary goes to taxes. Most rookies have no idea that their careers will likely be cut short by injury.

But hey, let’s laugh because we dropped $40k on booze! That’s so hilarious. Going broke is insanely funny. Just ask Antoine Walker or Latrell Sprewell or Andre Rison—I mean, you want a good laugh, go watch those guys struggle to make ends meet. Go watch those guys at a bankruptcy court cry to the judge because creditors are harassing them.

I realize this whole thing’s probably a hoax, Adam Schefter said as much this morning in a tweet. But don’t think for a second this stuff doesn’t happen. Don’t think for a second that rookies aren’t expected to pay obscene amounts of money as a rite of passage. Hell, Dez Bryant almost got in a brawl with teammates because of it. But I guess we can laugh about it now because Evan Mathis is such a prankster you guys! What a funny dude! What an elaborately stupid joke that probably took hours and hours of planning.

ROSHAMBO y’all!

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