Flamin’ Hot Cheetos are literally burning kids’ stomachs

Doctors say kids are streaming into the hospital weekly thanks in part to spicy snacks like Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. The stomach lining just isn’t built to handle Chester Cheetah’s extreme level of awesomeness.


Thinking back to the quantity of terrible food I ate when I was a kid, it’s no surprise that kids are over-eating something as delicious as Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. I could do major damage to a bag of Funyuns in minutes. The problem now lies with the artificial seasoning that gives the snacks their kick. It’s literally burning the lining of kids’ stomachs. I highly doubt that’s what Rob Base & DJ EZ Rock were thinking of when they covered Maze’s song, “Joy and Pain.”

The practice among kids and adolescents to not only eat junk food but very spicy junk food worries doctors, who say spicy snack foods can change the pH balance in the stomach, making it painfully acidic.

One doctor has an interesting way to combat this new health issue. While she throws out the obvious alternatives like apples and preztles, She also suggests giving kids coloring books instead of Flamin’ Hot Cheetos. That might be the dumbest thing I’ve ever heard. I don’t care if it’s Bun B’s Rapper Coloring and Activity Book from Shea Serrano, it’s still never going to take the place of food. At least I don’t think paper has gotten any more enjoyable since Fruit Striped gum first made it edible.

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