Former Detroit Lions player allegedly hired as hit man

According to TMZ, a former Detroit Lions player is involved in a murder-for-hire plot. Guys, where is Charles Rogers? Has anybody heard from Charles Rogers? Chuck, where are you?

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Here’s the backstory — we know … celebrity skin specialist Dawn DaLuise was arrested Wednesday for allegedly trying to hire someone to kill a skin care competitor. Sources tell us the person she contacted once played for the Lions.

FYI — The murder was never carried out … cops stepped in after someone tipped them off about the alleged plot.

Upon reading this story, Guyism writer Chris Illuminati weighed in: “It’s not Joey Harrington, he never hit anyone.”

And then we shut the down the internet. Forever. Goodbye everyone.