Jordany Valdespin attempted a bunt today against Tigers ace Justin Verlander. He missed with the bat but connected with his dick. Sadly, his penis was not credited with a hit.
Amazingly, his dick recovered—rather quickly I might add.
I’m gonna ahead and call shenanigans here. How does he know it’s “working good?” Don’t we need the opinion of a third party here, particularly his significant other. Let her weigh-in on dick functionality.