How to make a Drunken Mint Chocolate Milkshake

Colin Joliat


McDonald’s Shamrock Shake is the biggest scam in the game so we’ve come up with a way to make it irrelevant. The Drunken Mint Chocolate milkshake is 10x better, available anytime, and doesn’t rely on food coloring to be minty.

Making a milkshake at home doesn’t have to be difficult. Sure it’s more messy than the drive-thru, but it’s fast and easy to do. If you want to be a downer you can make one with as little as two ingredients, ice cream and milk. I know you’re all far from boring though, which is why I’m adding Crave Chocolate Mint liqueur to the mix. It brings the big peppermint flavor you’re pre-conditioned by McDonald’s to crave in March. It’s 60-proof too, so it’s just like those shots of Fireball you took at the bar last night.

Colin Joliat


I’ve always wondered why places add chocolate syrup to vanilla ice cream instead of just making a shake from chocolate ice cream. Now I know. It’s way too sweet. My apologies again to those without ice cream, but I threw the first attempt away. From now on I’ll stick to enhancing the blank canvas that is vanilla. I also used 2% milk for one iteration, and it doesn’t work as well either. Apparently this is what they call trial and error. Who knew?

Put three big scoops of softened ice cream in the blender. You don’t want it melted, but rock hard isn’t going to work either. Add in 2 ounces of whole milk and a dash of vanilla extract. Then comes the liqueur. I used 2 ounces because it’s 9am, and I’m not trying to get drunk. I’m just trying to survive. You can use more if that’s your goal, just be prepared to add more ice cream if it gets too thin. I found I had to use an extra scoop (4 total) because I added chocolate syrup as well.


It turns out that shot glasses make excellent measuring cups.

Colin Joliat


To finish things off, add a healthy dose of liquor infused whip cream. You know what I said about not trying to get drunk? Forget about it. I also added a bourbon cherry for good measure. A standard bright red, sugar-bomb cherry would have been better for once in its life, but I make a point of not owning those. I’m assuming you all have Godiva’s new chocolate truffle flights lying around, so I don’t have to tell you about the chocolate on top.

Colin Joliat


There you have it, a delicious Drunken Mint Chocolate Milkshake. Go enjoy one before people start judging you for eating ice cream when it’s cold outside. Don’t sweat the haters though, I’ll be back with some sort of Drunken Hot Chocolate recipe as well. There’s no sense in sobriety.

Check out the aptly named Guyism Grill to see what else is “hot and fresh out the kitchen.”