Man turns to internet for help with his turtle’s swollen penis

via Go Fund Me


 

A Bristol man is hoping a personal kickstarter will turn into a sort-of dickstarter for his pet turtle.

Miles Jelfs’s pet tortoise is in agony with a swollen penis. The 4-year-old turtle is suffering from a prolapse of the cloaca. It requires immediate treatment or Cedric might die. It’s a crisis.

Unfortunately, Jelfs can’t afford the operation – which involves a minor tuck or complete amputation — because he doesn’t have the necessary $252 dollars. Internet to the rescue! Hopefully.

Miles put his story and plea for penis-fixing pennies on Go Fund Me. There wasn’t a happy ending. At least not right away.

It turns out Cedric’s surgery would cost even more money. He’s too thin and can’t have the operation. So funds were needed for meds to fatten Cedric up. Internet to the rescue!

Miles now has the funds needed to have his turtle’s penis removed and save his life. Hopefully, the surgery goes well. Getting the penis removed is a scary ordeal. Ironically, my penis has been acting like a frightened turtle while writing this story.

Bristol man seeking help for pet tortoise Cedric with swollen penis [Bristol Post]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.