Da Coach, Mike Ditka, is about to have his own brand of monster sausages from Vienna Beef. No word yet on how many of them 50 mini-Ditkas could eat.
Ditka said in a press release, “These sausages embody Chicago. The tradition, the teams, the fans, the big appetites — Chicago deserves a monster sausage they can be proud of.”
I’m not sure Chicagoan fans have been sitting around waiting for a sausage of which they can be proud, but more power to you Coach. The way the Cubs and Sox have been playing, I guess they could probably use it right about now.
There are two different varieties, a hot polish and a chicken sausage with tomato and mozzerella. They weigh in at a girthy 1/3 pound and are eight inches long, making them prime for dick-a jokes.
These sausages join the rare and exclusive line Mike Ditka products. As of now, the only thing worth of Da Coach’s name as been Ditka wine, cigars, salsa, hot sauce, bloody mary mix, giardiniera, burgers, steaks, and ribs. And who could forget how happy he was tom hock boner pills.