Roman Reigns and Dean Ambrose enter Raw tonight looking for answers.
The two remaining members of The Shield want to know why Seth Rollins, their so-called brother, betrayed them last week and joined forces with Evolution. Especially after The Shield demolished Evolution the previous night at the Payback pay per view. That’s like Russell Wilson winning the Super Bowl this season and ripping off his helmet to reveal a Manning face.
The WWE fans have just as many questions. Most involve the Bella Twins and “do they shower together to like in my masturbatory dreams?” Another hot question is “will there be a new Shield member?” and the answer is “no” because it’s impossible to replace a brother. Unless mom has an affair. Then it’s not really “replacing” a brother it’s “bringing in another kid and acting like he came from the same ball bag as the rest of the kids.”
New Shield member suggestions
The Shield won’t get a new member for a while but WWE will tease the idea for months. Roman Reigns wants a new Shield member and put his suggestion out on Twitter.
“@MidgeBringsIt: The @TheShieldWWE needs a new member. A female. THE female. @RondaRousey , believe in the Shield! She seems like a good fit
— Roman Reigns (@WWERomanReigns) June 8, 2014
Ronda Rousey is an awful idea. First, women have vaginas, and vaginas are dangerous. Second, she’d kick the shit out of every other WWE superstar. It wouldn’t be fair. Let’s go back to the drawing board, Roman. Unless, he’s having the same Bella twins thoughts as certain other fans (points finger at forehead). If that’s the case, Reigns is smarter than he looks.
My suggestions for a new Shield member are Hornswoggle, just the Sin Cara mask, Maggle, Glacier, Gillberg, Damien Sandow dressed as Seth Rollins or former WWF commissioner Jack Tunney.
[via WrestlingInc]