I’m scared you guys, this nut gobbling abomination has invaded my hometown of Sarasota, FL to feast on Floridian junk, and it’s messing with my fishing hole.
The Pacu, a cousin of the Piranha, is native to the Amazonian River basin and is considered an exotic invasive species here in the U.S., and it likes to munch on human testicles. With a confirmed catch in Florida, the Pacu has been spotted in 32 US states now, and as recently as last week in the Detroit area.
Last month while fishing in Phillippi Creek, Tom Rigby of Sarasota caught an unusual fish. He sent a picture to Mote Marine, and they identified it as a pacu, a freshwater species and a member of the piranha family.
Over the years there have been unconfirmed reports that pacu go after men’s testicles. Although experts say the fish pose no threat to humans.
Unconfirmed? Well, given that the majority of that Amazonian River Basin doesn’t have the capability to just pull out an iPhone and snap a pic of the fish that just chewed off their testicles, yes, these attacks are going to go virtually unconfirmed forever.
What’s particularly troubling about this most recent siting here in Sarasota, FL is that not only is it my hometown, this particular siting took place at one of my favorite fishing holes, Phillippi Creek.
It’s a spot where if you catch it right on an outgoing tide during the Summer you can just sit at the mouth of the creek and pull in snook after snook after redfish, because the gamefish are sitting there ambushing all the baitfish getting swept out by the powerful tide. I’ve even been known to hop out of the boat there and wade because it’s so shallow. Well, given that I value my manhood that’ll likely never happen again.
Here’s a video of several Pacu devouring a turkey leg to show you just how much they mean business:
Good luck never swimming again without worrying about the safety of your testicles.