What can guys learn from RFK Jr.’s alleged ‘cellphone screwbook’?

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Robert Kennedy Jr. is a philanderer. He said as much in a personal sex diary.

He’s also a Kennedy — a family with a genetic characteristic that has replaced breathing with sex as the main mode of survival. A Kennedy can hold their breath for over eight minutes but if they don’t get off inside a woman every forty seconds they’ll die. It’s true. I saw it on Discovery Health.

Kennedy is set to marry Curb Your Enthusiasm star Cheryl Hines in the fall. His last wife, Mary Richardson, killed herself 2012. As an early wedding gift, the New York Post obtained a list of over forty-three women stored in Kennedy’s cell phone.  The average guy, those interested in cheating and screwing as suitable replacement for breathing, can learn a few things from the way Kennedy kept track of his vaginal exploits.

First, Kennedy listed all of this women under G for goomah, the Italian slang for mistress. This is smart because it keeps all of the women in one section of the phone. It’s also so fucking cliche and dumb it’s almost hard to believe. But, this is the same guy who used the codename “Robert Strong” when traveling, so cliche and dumb is his modus operandi.

Next, Kennedy kept the number of a woman in countless cities. He had at least five numbers of women in Toronto. It’s smart to keep options open in every city. It’s also smart to head to Toronto. Tons of whores. Tons.

One woman had the notation “airplane” after her name, another “farm,” and another “teacher.” It’s always good to make note of the woman’s occupation because she’s going to want to talk eventually. Especially after sex. “So how are things [checks cell phone] down on the farm? You don’t work on a farm? Then why did I…oh, it’s because you’re a pig. Got it. My mistake.”

His sex journal used a 1-10 scale to document his encounters — 10 allegedly meant full-on screwing. One meant wrap it up multiple times. One woman was cryptically known as just “Z”. This feels like some type of crude ranking using letters instead of numbers. This woman was the last possible option. Robert Strong needs vagina, but if it’s going to take a Z, then that’s what it’s going to be.

Finally, the biggest lesson a man can learn from Kennedy is not to keep a sex journal. It might end up on the pages of the New York Post or on a men’s entertainment website.

[via Gawker]

Chris Illuminati avatar
Chris Illuminati is a 5-time published author and recovering a**hole who writes about running, parenting, and professional wrestling.