TNA Impact Wrestling is for sale…on Craigslist

by 4 years ago

TNA Impact

After news of Spike TV cancelling TNA Impact Wrestling hit the web, the vultures started to circle.

Dixie Carter said everything is fine. Actually, she yelled it from the front of the boat, while the back end sunk and wrestlers jumped into life boats. Cue the band! Music to drown by!

TNA Impact Wrestling isn’t for sale. Yet. But the company was listed on Craigslist.

For Sale or Trade!

One slightly used wrestling company!

Great for kids birthday parties, local armories, or aaa baseball fields!

I am selling my Daddies wrestling company!11! Tee hee!

It’s Call Total Non, No wait it’s called TNA Wre, no maybe we settled on Impact Wrestling. You know what I’m not too sure but I do know we have Hulk, I mean Sting, I mean AJ St… We have Robbie E.

We currently have a national TV deal but I’m not sure how long that’s going to last. To be honest I’m surprised it lasted this long! But you could always do weekly PPV’s, that work GREAT for us!

Anyway you can contact me to purchase the entire company or I’d be willing to sell my guys individually. If you want Kurt Angle to wrestle at your wedding, no problem! Just buy or trade him out from me!

We have two rings because we never could decide what we wanted to do, and even when we did we were never decisive enough to stick with those decisions.

Contrary to the rumors Vince Russo is not working for us! That was all a swerve that we did just to work the sheets. We got tired of them constantly saying that we sucked and posting photoshopped photos of our HUGE events with no crowds and only empty seats.

Anyway I feel like I’m not doing anything now but just wasting valuable space in this ad and if you know anything about me, you know I’d never waste anything, be it time or money.

So if you are a money mark and in the market for buying yourself respect in the business and want to help raise your stock so you can be friends with the boys, this deal is for you!

And don’t forget, it’s also a GREAT tax write off!

Hmmmm…let me think…

No thanks.

[via With Spandex]


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