7 types of summer festivals and the people you’ll find there

Types of Summer Festivals

Original Natvanya, Flickr


Summer is a time for fun, fanfare and of course, festivals. Let’s engage in gleeful generalization of the people you’ll find at some of the country’s most popular summer festivals.

Photo credit: Canadian Film Centre, Flickr

7 Music Festivals

Lollapalooza

Original Natvanya, Flickr


Examples:
Bonnarroo in Tennessee, Mountain Jam in New York, Lollapalooza in Illinois.

Who You’ll See:
Old hippies, young hipsters, baked dudes looking for some sweet concert strange.

What You’ll Overhear:
“Is it ‘peyote before ecstasy and you’re in the clear,’ or does that just apply to liquor and beer?”

Photo credit: Original Natvanya, Flickr

6 BBQ Festivals

BBQ Festival

Canadian Film Centre, Flickr


Examples:
Boss Hog Cook-Off in Georgia, Arizona Barbecue Festival, International BBQ Festival in Tennessee.

Who You’ll See:
Religiously militant BBQ peddlers, BBQ purists who know good pig and large men on large motorcycles with large tattoos.

What You’ll Overhear:
“I’ll take one.”
“One rack?”
“No. One hog.”

Photo credit: Canadian Film Centre, Flickr

5 Renaissance Faires

New York Renaissance Faire

Luke H. Gordon, Flickr


Examples:
New York Renaissance Faire, Gulf Coast Renaissance Faire in Florida, Sherwood Forest Faire in Texas.

Who You’ll See:
Female ren-faire workers with enormous grandma boobs that need to be propped up in a medieval brazier in order to be passably displayed, foreigners who are attending just to confirm how weird Americans are, and post-high school goths.

What You’ll Overhear:
“Alas, this glass of mead has not quelled the weird and wonderful urge in my loins to mount a steed and dash mine enemies to smithereens!”

Photo credit: Luke H. Gordon, Flickr

4 Beer Festivals

American Craft Beer Fest

Sara D., Flickr


Examples:
Great American Beer Festival in Colorado, Classic City Brewfest in Georgia, American Craft Beer Fest in Massachusetts.

Who You’ll See:
Alcoholics, beer snobs and frat boys.

What You’ll Overhear:
“One more blass of geer for my drive home, please.”

Photo credit: Sara D., Flickr

3 Arts and Crafts Festivals

Seagrove Pottery Festival

Brad Spry, Flickr


Examples:
Sugarloaf Craft Festival in various locations, Amish Acres Arts & Crafts Festival in Indiana, Seagrove Pottery Festival in North Carolina.

Who You’ll See:
Women and the husbands and boyfriends they coerced into going against their will.

What You’ll Overhear:
“Oh, honey did you hear that? This one wards off evil garden spirits!”

Photo credit: Brad Spry, Flickr

2 Ethnic Festivals

Greek Fest

Rob and Stephanie Levy, Flickr


Examples:
LA Greek Fest, (German) Highland FestivBavarian Festival in Michigan, (Italian) Feast of San Gennaro, all over the U.S.

Who You’ll See:
Extremely old people sitting under tents, weird carnies operating out-of-place rides for people who are too full of ethnic foods to safely go on them without vomiting.

What You’ll Overhear:
“Can I have a gyro (ji-roh)?”
“You mean gyro (yee-roh)”
“No, a gryo (ji-roh)”
“I have nothing for you.”

Photo credit: Rob and Stephanie Levy, Flickr

1 Alternative Festivals


Examples:
Let’s not be bashful; we definitely have to talk about one festival in particular here: the Gathering of the Juggalos in Illinois.

Who You’ll See:
Thousands and thousands of spider-haired, “whoop, whoop”-ing, blade-brandishing, face paint-wearing, horror-rap listening Juggalos.

What You’ll Overhear:
This ICP quote from the melodious “What is a Juggalo?”
“What is a Juggalo? I don’t know, but I’m down with the clown, and I’m down for life, yo.”

Poetry.

Photo credit: YouTube/PsychopathicVideo