What were you doing when you were 11-years-old? Playing Crash Bandicoot as you scratch your balls and wonder why you’re starting to get fuzz down there? Now what if a home invasion happened while you were gaming it up? Would you continue to playing your game and try to foil the plans of Doctor Neo Cortex from world domination and tell the robber where your parents kept their emergency money or would you run away screaming, “MOOOOOMMMMMMMMYYYY!!!” Well 11-year-old Chris Gaither didn’t run away and wasn’t about to let some piece of shit rob his house.
We take you to Talladega, Alabama where Chris was home alone on Wednesday morning and heard a noise. Gaither knew none of his family was home so he grabbed a 9-mm gun. The stranger was upstairs and coming down the stairs where Chris was.
“When he was coming down the stairs, that’s when he told me he was going to kill me, ‘fuck you’ and all that,” Gaither said.
“When I pulled the gun, I guess he didn’t think it was a real gun because he kept on walking,” Gaither said. The intruder walked out the front door with a hamper that he had stolen (I guess Alabamans(?)/Alabamians(?)/Alabamites(?) really covet dirty clothes containers). That’s when Chris figuratively said, “Not in my fucking house,” and starting busting shots at this fool.
The first 11 shots missed the criminal, and shaky aim is to be expected by a youngster in this frightening of a situation. However, right as the intruder was about to jump the fence in the front yard, Gaither’s 12th and final shot hit the burglar in the leg.
“I shot through the hamper he was carrying,” Gaither said. “It was a full metal jacket bullet. It went straight through the back of his leg. He started crying like a little baby.”
The boy’s mother said this man has robbed their house before, but they don’t know him personally.
“I hope you learn your lesson coming to this house trying to steal stuff,” Chris said.
The intruder was taken to the hospital and is expected to be fine.
Wouldn’t it be a real hoot if it turned out that the intruder was part of a new laundry service that personally picks up your dirty clothes from your home, cleans them and then returns your shirts and pantaloons all clean and freshly pressed, and this kid shot him on accident?
The morale of the story is don’t rob people of their hampers, especially in Alabama because they will shoot you.