31-Year-Old Guy Writes Letter Complaining That His Big Penis Is Why He’s Still A Virgin

No way this is real, right? Some guy wrote a letter to the Mirror complaining about how having a giant penis is the reason he’s still a virgin at age 31.


Okay, fine, we’ll play along.

Here’s what he had to say to advice columnist Coleen…

My problem is a big one. It’s most men’s dream to have a big penis, but for me it’s a nightmare.

Humlebrag much, dude?

Thinking back, I always knew it wasn’t average from when the older lads used to comment on it when in the showers after sport. It even got its own nickname.

What was the nickname?! You can’t drop that in the letter then not tell everyone? Sheesh…

Great you would think, eh? Well, no, because I’m still a virgin at 31.

So what does one have to do with the other again?

The closest a woman gets is putting a hand on it and once an escort lady refunded my money and left. Please help. It’s making me very unhappy.

Uh, dude. It’s not your giant penis that’s causing you to not get laid. It’s the fact that you are the type of person who would write this letter to a newspaper.

So how did advice columnist respond? (Hopefully, better than I just did.)

I think the real issue for you is that you’re still a virgin. I think being teased at school can have a huge impact on you later in life.

That kind of teasing or ‘banter’ stays with you and can be a kind of block to what you want to achieve.

So, what I’m saying is, OK, you might have a big one, but it might not be as much of a problem as you think.

Maybe you’ve built it up to be a larger issue than it is.

Wait, built what up? The block or his penis?

She goes on to say that maybe he’s the one who’s scared to let anyone “put a hand on it,” but that one day he’ll meet the right girl and then his big penis won’t be a problem anymore for him.

For her? Maybe, but not for him at least.


Sad man image by Shutterstock

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Before settling down at BroBible, Douglas Charles, a graduate of the University of Iowa (Go Hawks), owned and operated a wide assortment of websites. He is also one of the few White Sox fans out there and thinks Michael Jordan is, hands down, the GOAT.