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If you’ve made it out of college, first of all, congratulations! You being high during that bio exam never came back to haunt you. Secondly, prepare for the magical time of your life known as young adulthood. You’re expected to get a job and oversee your own finances, but you can still chug 4 Loko out of girl’s bra after losing a bet and have that be socially acceptable.
However, there is one facet of young adulthood that has been known to throw a Bro’s world upside down: your best friend’s engagement. You may not realize it now, but your best Bro’s engagement has the potential to shock your system. It signals a change and greets you with the scary proposition you might not be the most important thing in your best friend’s life (the horror!).
If you’ve been dating your high school sweetheart for eight years or went to college anywhere in the south then DISREGARD. Lord knows you’re stroking an engagement ring with your thumb right now like fucking Smeagol . Otherwise, read below on top seven questions you’ll have when your best Bro gets engaged.
1. HOLY FUCKING SHIT – OK fine. Not a question. Still, the strongest and most common reaction you’ll have. It just doesn’t feel real. A few years ago, you two were an unstoppable tandem with the ladies. And now your best bro has taken the plunge. Nothing will be the same again between you two. After hearing the news, I suggest taking a walk outside to clear your mind. Glossing over this significant announcement is pretty dicey from a mental health standpoint. Talk to your other friends or your family about how you’re feeling. You might be unabashedly happy as hell for your best friend or you might be on the floor, shaking in the fetal position. Both reactions are fine but do not compartmentalize any of this, it’s just not healthy.
2. Is everything about to change?- Short answer: no. You’re still going to wake up tomorrow hungover with the ability to eat a breakfast sandwich and Gatorade and call that breakfast. You’re not the one getting engaged. However if we delve into this a little deeper, this engagement is more than just an update to a Facebook profile. Your best Bro will not be the last person in your group of friends to settle down and it’s time to prepare for more engagements to come. But your Bro is ready to get married now and a celebration is in order, damn it. Unless…
3. Is he making the right decision?- This is a tricky and inevitable question you’re going to ask yourself. Your Bro’s fiancée might be one of your best friends. She also might just not be the girl you expected your bro to end up with. She also might be terrible and treat your best friend like shit (I hope that’s not the case). Unless your friend just proposed to a serial killer or an anti-vaxxer, here’s the bottom line: you need to come to terms and accept your best friend’s decision. If you’re not the #1 fan of your friend’s fiancée, that’s totally ok! But the time to “advise” your friend on who to date and marry has come and gone. There’s a reason your friend has made this monumental decision and you have to trust him. And if this isn’t going to work out, that’s a journey your friend is going to have to experience himself.
4. What am I doing with my life? – Your friend’s big news will inevitably bleed into your own introspection. What am I doing here? Should I be getting married? Did my Christian Mingle username expire? It’s perfectly natural to question yourself after hearing the news. But I’m here to tell you that your friend’s decision to get married shouldn’t reflect one iota on how you live your life. Were you happy with yourself before your best Bro just dropped this bomb on you? Asking and answering this question will help you avoid additional anxiety. Save this stress for a midlife crisis down the road, when you have enough cash in the bank to buy a sports car.
5. Is it time to celebrate?- Hell yes it is. You might have an engagement party on the horizon. You definitely have a wedding coming up. You may be having a hard time digesting this news, but imagine how your Bro feels? He needs your support more than ever. Whether he’s your roommate or you two live on opposite coasts, show him some love! Communicate your support however you two talk. And congratulate his fiancée for fucks sake! She’s the one who said yes and if she isn’t family already, she needs to welcomed into your circle with open arms. Mazel tov!
6. Oh fuck, there’s going to be a wedding isn’t there? – Ding ding ding! Before you know it, your best Bro will be planning this fucker like it’s biggest day of his life (spoiler alert: it is). So down the line, don’t just sit there wondering if you’ll get a +1; offer to help on whatever he and his fiancée need. If he wants to know what you think about the damned napkins, tell him they have an understated grace to them! Or whatever! While you should concentrate on your own feelings, it’s not all about you.
7. Bachelor party!- Yeah yeah, not a question either, dick. But this byproduct of the big news is the one thing you don’t have to feel conflicted over. Get excited and slip the stripper an extra $100 to pee on your best friend. That’s the most sincere advice I can give you.
In conclusion: a best friend’s engagement can stir up emotions you thought you never had. Don’t act like this isn’t huge. Talk to your friends and family about how you’re feeling. You may be ecstatic over the news or you might be heavily conflicted. Both are natural, but it’s time to support your Bro with all your might and come to terms with the next step in his life. And when the time comes, remember to hit on the bridesmaids.