The All-Time Most Untameable Facial Hair

Ambrose Burnside

He kicked rebel ass in the Civil War, he made (the equivalent) of millions as a railroad industrialist, he was a popular U.S. senator. But Ambrose Burnside's true legacy lies in the facial hair he left behind. For Ambrose Burnside invented the sideburn. It was—kind of—named after him. And the world was never the same.

Sam Elliot

Sam Elliot told us a little story of the man they called “the Dude.” His dudeness or El Duderino, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

And in addition to being the Stranger, Elliot has long been the pinnacle of the Western man's man. Which is, in large part, due to that terrific stache— thankfully, it's abided for decades.

Kenny Rogers

Before he turned his face into plastic, the Gambler was known for two things: Kickass country music and an all-time great beard. Look at that thing. Woe be anyone who sat across from it at a poker table. You wouldn' know when to hold 'em. Or when to fold 'em. Or when to walk away. Etc.

ZZ Top

What's a Duck Dynasty? The ZZ Top guys perfected country-strong beards long before Willie Robertson was ever a household name. And they earn bonus points for suiting them up in the “Sharp Dressed Man” video. Actually, bonus points for all of that video.

Walt Frazier

Within Walt Frazier's mutton chops you can see no less than the entire decade of the 1970s. The Knicks' point guard doubled as the coolest man in New York City, wearing fur coats and driving the baddest cars, and he was responsible for a way out-there facial hair style going nationwide.

Tom Selleck

Can you imagine Tom Selleck without a mustache? Can you? It happened once, during a period in the late-90s. As a Friends guest star, he once appeared clean-shaven alongside Courteney Cox. It was terrifying and, frankly, the reason why the show is no longer on the air. Selleck is a facial hair man, as solidly pro-mustache as anyone in pop culture history. Untameable.

Mark Twain

Hey, speaking of mustaches: The man also known as Samuel Clemens may just have history's best. There exist photographs of Twain sans his untameable facial hair, but he's not writing Huck Finn clean shaven. He'd never make it past page 5.

Karl Marx

When you think untameable, you think a wild beard and a philosophy that pretty much shakes up the entire world. Marx qualifies!

Salvador Dali

The painter's facial hair was as distinctive as The Persistence of Memory. Don't even attempt this: To grow a mustache like Dali's it's necessary to think in only surrealism. 

Santa Claus

Longevity. Longevity is the key to any great thing. And Santa has rocked the beard when it was fashionable and it was not. The man chills with his reindeer and elves and just… doesn't… care. That's untameable, and that's why his beard has stood the test of time.