Alligators Can Apparently Understand English, Eat To Death Bro Who Cursed Them Out Before Jumping In Water
Prior today, there wasn’t any concrete proof that alligators 1. Could understand English and 2. Had a vendetta against humans who swore at them.
But when Tommie Woodward said “Fuck the alligators,” before jumping into infested waters, it appears the gators used it as a rallying cry — a reptilian “54 40 or Fight” — and ate him to death.
Guess we know what sets gators off, though.
What started as a night of fun at ended with the fatal attack early Friday morning.
“I asked him please do not go swimming, there’s a bigger alligator out here, just please stay out of the water,” Michelle Wright, an employee at [Burkhart’s Marina in Orange], said.
Workers report they spotted a ten-foot gator in the waters of Adams Bayou this week, prompting them to post a warning sign reading “No Swimming Alligators.”
Investigators said Woodward didn’t pay attention to the posted warnings and pleas from Wright.
“He said blank the alligators and thereupon jumped into the water,” Orange County Justice of the Peace Rodney Price said.
Price said the 28-year old was almost immediately attacked.
If some random Bro was frontin’ while you lazily slept in a bayou, wouldn’t you do the same?
Let this be a lesson. Don’t taunt the gators.