This Angry Letter From A Little Girl To The Tooth Fairy Is The Most Wonderfully Bitchtastic Thing I’ve Read Today

Have you ever wondered if your girl is a HBIC, or for those of you who are uninitiated in the ways of the HBIC, “Head Bitch In Charge”?

Does she somehow boss you around without coming off like a total boner killer?
Do you find yourself doing whatever she says just because she said it?
If you ever think of questioning her do you immediately think to yourself “Oh wait that’s probably an awful idea because she’s always right”?

If you answered “Yes” to any and all of those questions, your girl is probably an HBIC. Most HBIC’s were born as boss bitches, tellin’ people around them what to do left and right without a fuck in the world. You’re probably thinking ‘Yeah right, like a 5 year old can boss anyone around,” but you’d be surprised. Case in point? This letter from Reddit user judokitten to the Tooth Fairy when she was younger:

Such a kind “Fuck you get your shit together” in children’s terms. According to judokitten:

So, I had lost a tooth, but I was suspicious about the actual validity of the toothfairy’s magical abilities. So, I didn’t tell anyone about the lost tooth. Lo and behold, she did not arrive.

The next morning, I loudly proclaimed the toothfairy bullshit in my 9 year old terms, and my mom told me to write her a letter expressing my displeasure.

I was returned a letter that basically said,
“I couldn’t get to your pillow the night before last because I got stuck in all the mess. Maybe if you clean your room, I could get to you in a timely manner.”

Translation: “You are cordially invited to go fuck yourself too.”

[H/T Reddit]