Whoops! The U.S. Army May Have Accidentally Shipped Samples Of The Bubonic Plague Through The Mail



Hey Bros, do the world a favor. If you randomly get a package from the U.S. Army, with a return address somewhere in Maryland, don’t open it.

It may contain the virus that caused the Black Death. From USA Today:

The Pentagon’s most secure laboratories may have mislabeled, improperly stored and shipped samples of potentially infectious plague bacteria, which can cause several deadly forms of disease, USA TODAY has learned.

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention flagged the practices after inspections last month at an Army lab in Maryland, one of the Pentagon’s most secure labs.

Ohhhh goody. The Pentagon wants you to know it’s nothing to worry about, nothing at all. Buy that at your own infectious peril.

[Officials] point out that continuing testing has shown the suspect samples of plague contain a weakened version, and not the fully virulent form that was of concern to lab regulators at the CDC.

There is no danger to the public from the plague and encephalitis specimens found in the labs, said Army spokesman Dov Schwartz.

Suuuuure. Like they’d tell you if there was. According to Foreign Policy, they may not even yet fully grasp the extent of the mishaps.

[There] is no word as to how many labs, in how many U.S. states or foreign countries, may have received shipments of the yersinia pestis bacteria, which causes plague.

We all knew the world would end one day because of our own incompetence. This might finally be it.