Two Guys Have An Under 15 Second Backyard Boxing Match That May End With One Of Them Dead

by 2 years ago

I’m a big fan of backyard boxing. Long time listener, first time caller kind of deal. I think there’s a certain allure of a couple of amateurs strapping up and going after each other that you can’t find in professional boxing rings. Less rules = more fun. And by fun I mean blood. And, sure, people shouldn’t cheer for other people to bleed. But this boxing, not chess. If people start bleeding in chest, it means someone has a gun, and then we’re all in trouble.

I really didn’t see this one coming. I thought we’d be getting a David Vs. Goliath kind of thing where the cocky kid with the blowout and golden gloves would get all 32 of his teeth shoved down his throat. Instead, said kid shovelled a punch into the other kid’s jaw and maybe killed him. I mean sure, the kid was rolling around after, but there’s some brain damage rattling around in that kid’s skull now. If you don’t believe me, watch it again and see how his back bends after the punch before the top of his head hits the concrete like a balloon full of wet sand. It’s like his entire bone structure suddenly was made out of rubber. So I guess this is a lesson for me when I (inevitably) begin attending backyard boxing matches with the intention to gamble on them: Never count out the kid in the golden gloves. Life’s not a movie where the underdog always wins. Most of the time, the underdog loses, because he’s the underdog and this is the real world.

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