Look, I try to make BroBible a judgement-free space. There have definitely been times — after I’ve gotten too deep into the white stuff and the beer and the shots — that I’ve been unable to leave my bed in the morning.
My head throbbing, and I mean fucking THROBBING. My stomach churning, my whole body dying. My bladder about to explode. But no matter how many times that has happened, no matter how difficult — and oh it is often difficult — I have always taken the dog out to use the bathroom and made my way to the toilet, where many, many vicious things have been expelled.
Never, and I do mean never, have I shit in the bed and let the dog shit in the bed and then wallowed in it for DAYS.
I am not Barbara Virginia Hudson, a wealthy Park Avenue divorcée. That, according to court documents, was her MO.
The story begins with Hudson accusing a maid of stealing $50,000. The maid didn’t take to kindly to the accusations, because apparently working for Hudson fucking sucked. If, you know, the aforementioned story didn’t already make that apparent. Via the New York Post:
The alleged secret life of Barbara Virginia Hudson, 52, came to light after she accused the long-time cleaning woman of swiping $50,000 in signed checks at her lavish, penthouse duplex at Park and East 60th Street back in 2012.
But the maid, Johanna Pimental, of The Bronx, fought back.
Pimental rounded up other employees of Hudson who had similar tales of horror and … MAN. It’s some metaphorical and literal shit.
[Alejandro] Stojanovic said he twice found Hudson unconscious and “in need of resuscitation” from drug and alcohol overdoses in the years he worked for her, between 2006 and 2010.
She’s here to party. Hardy. With hookers.
At one point, he added, Hudson met a mysterious Italian boyfriend named Fernando who “mainly seemed to exist only at nighttime … She told me he brings prostitutes to her apartment to enact orgies.”
The prostitutes were women who would come to the penthouse “for ‘ménage à trois et quatre,’ ” the maid’s lawyer, Ernest Hammer, wrote in another filing.
Get it, girl. But after the prostitutes left, and the drugs wore off, that’s when things got real dirty.
After Hudson’s binges would come calamitous crashes, during which she’d retreat to her penthouse bedroom for days, “with her crippled Chihuahua, ‘Tilly,’” as Pimental described it in her own affidavit.
Neither Hudson nor her dog would leave for days, even to use the bathroom. “It was all in the bed and on the bed,” Pimental wrote of the vile messes she’d have to clean up.
Hudson’s lawyer deny the allegations. The maid’s trial is this August. Hopefully things get even messier.