If You’re Doing Any Of The Things On This List, Your Bartender Probably Hates You With A Passion

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Wanna learn a secret?

Come close and I’ll tell you.

Closer…

Closer…

 

 

 

 

 

 

Everyone in the service industry hates your guts.

By “everyone” I mean a big ol’ fat 85%. That guy you tipped 30% on a bill? He doesn’t hate you, but the guy you complained to management about because there wasn’t enough mayonnaise on your sandwich? He hates you and your fat-mayo-chugging face. With this in mind it comes as no surprise that there are a helluva lot of behaviors that bartenders hate as well, and according to this AskReddit thread, you’re probably one of the offenders.

The worst one?

According to bartenders I know: Basically anything that isn’t sitting in relative silence and putting draft alcohol in your face at a brisk pace, and leaving as soon as you’re drunk after tipping exorbitantly.

But then I’d probably be grumpy too if my job was being sober around drunk people.

I’ll admit that’s not even really fair, considering drinking in absolute silence and throwing huge amounts of cash at your bartender isn’t exactly everyone’s idea of a good time. But the rest? Yeah, don’t do these you asshole.

Expect me to be in on you hitting on that girl. We are not a team. You creep me out, imagine how she feels.

Snap your fingers at me, yeah…you’re not getting that drink anytime soon.

Ask if someone can mix good drinks and then asks for a redbull and vodka

Throw your fucking money/ID on the fucking bar when I have my fucking hand out for it.
Fuck.

If you know the bartender don’t be a dick and expect to be served first and get free drinks etc. if you’re a real mate and don’t pressure me i’ll give you all the shit I can get away with, if you ask I’ll say no (probably because I have to because asking outright is just a dumb way to get caught anyway)

Shit your pants and throw away your underwear in the single toilet women’s bathroom.

My SO bartender says “When people say ‘I’ll have a beer please'” as if there’s only one kind.

Haggle. Seriously, I don’t own the bar and I’m not in any position to give you discounts without taking it from my tips..

Ripping up coasters and labels and if by then, you haven’t caused enough misery for the night, throw it on the floor or squish it in the gap of something.

Please take your glasses back to the bar. It’s not expected of you but it helps and is very appreciated.

And as for the things you SHOULD be doing…:

Neat: Serve my drink straight from the bottle at room temperature. Scotch neat.
• Up: Stir or shake my drink with ice and serve it to me without ice in the glass. If you prefer one or the other, here’s your chance to be James Bond. Vodka martini shaken.

• Rocks: Serve my drink on ice. Makers on the rocks please.

• Dry, Sweet, Perfect: When ordering a vermouth drink, specify how you would like it prepared. Dry Rye Manhattan Up.

• Dirty: When ordering a martini, you can request that it be prepared dirty. The bartender will add a bit of the olive juice to your cocktail to make it a bit saltier.

• Double. When ordering any drink, you may specify how strong you want it by asking for a double. You are doubling the liquor and doubling the price. This works for most basic drinks. Whiskey and make it double.

• Twist: For the twist lemon is default, specify if you’d like something out of the ordinary for that drink, keeping in mind that they only have lemons, limes, oranges, and cherries. Dry Bourbon Manhattan on the rocks with an orange twist.

• Mixers and a splash of this or that: Most of the time the mixer is in the name of the drink. But otherwise, the bargun has soda, tonic, cran, sprite, coke, sour, and diet. Gin and tonic with a splash of sprite.

• Chasers and back are ordered with a shot to wash it down. In the old days, you would ask for a whiskey with a water back. The bartender would give you a whiskey and a short glass of water to drink with it. A chaser is more of a full drink to have after your shot. Shot of bourbon with a beer chaser.

• If you want a specific spirit, say it before the drink name. It’s the first thing the bartender grabs. Ketel One Martini Up with a twist.

• If you are clumsy, you can even specify your glass. Brandy Old Fashioned with a splash of sprite in a lowball.

• Wet or tall: if you prefer your drink to be a little more dilluted, you can ask for it in a taller glass, and you will get a bit more mix. Asking for it wet will result in the drink ordered but more mix and less ice in a normal glass.

• Say please and tip your bartender.

Keep these in mind, or else your next rail might come with a little secret ingredient called “spit” mixed with it next time.

[H/T Reddit]
[Header image via Shutterstock]

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