The Benefits of Being Single on Valentine’s Day

Valentine’s Day is widely regarded as a time for people in relationships to celebrate their feelings of love while single people drink away theirs.

It’s unfortunate that so many people associate being single as some sort of a social stigma. Even worse is the fact that it’s often the people who are in relationships that are making you think that you’re in the wrong for being single. I think this is partially because they’ve forgotten the freedom of being without a significant other. I mean I can literally do whatever I want. It’s always the people that have been in relationships for a long time that let out a huge sigh when telling you, “You know there’s someone out there for you.” Yeah maybe there is, but also, I’m cool right now.

Being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a terrible experience. In fact, think of it as a free holiday. Also, as an added bonus to being single this particular year is the fact that Valentine’s Day lands on a Saturday. That’s like winning the being single on Valentine’s Day lottery. You don’t have to witness your peers getting flowers at school or work, and you dodge the chore of planning an entire day of disappointing, over-hyped romance. This year you’re not only skipping the usual expensive dinner plans, you’re skipping an entire day’s worth of activities including a fancy brunch, an exquisite lunch, a Fifty Shades of Grey matinée, a romantic Italian dinner, and a night cap at a classy bar. Don’t forget the gifts and flowers. Keep in mind that if she says, “Oh you don’t need to get me anything,” she’s just trying not to sound uptight. You can argue that it’s just a materialistic holiday all you want, but that still just makes it a materialistic holiday.

Now I may not be qualified in giving relationship advice, but I’m great at being single. I don’t mean that in the sense that I own a giant saltwater fish tank and bang chicks every weekend like I’m Barney Stinson. I mean that in the sense that I’m very good at enjoying myself even when I’m doing almost nothing. I’m not cocky, I’m just easily entertained. I can entertain the shit out of myself. Give me a 12 pack of Busch Light, a couple episodes of Cops, and a documentary on Netflix, and I’m good for an entire Saturday. Don’t get up in your own head this Valentine’s Day. Just enjoy yourself. A solid mixture of apathy and being content with yourself is the key to being happy while you’re single.

Yet, Valentine’s Day always brings up some weird emotions in people. You’ve got some people in relationships that get weirdly defensive about it and are like, “You should love your partner every single day! Not just Valentine’s Day!” Hey chill out, buy some chocolate, and quit projecting your self-esteem issues on the rest of us.

Then you have the women who get preachy about how they are independent and how no man is holding them down. I call it Beyoncé Single Lady Syndrome. They’ll post things on Facebook like, “Watching The Notebook alone in my favorite sweatpants with a tall glass of wine! Just another successful independent Valentine’s Day!” They think that what they’re saying is coming off as strong and independent, but in reality it comes off sounding insecure. They forget that the best part of being single is that you don’t have to impress anyone. You can just enjoy the freedom of being yourself.

I think it’s important to clarify that I’m not single just because I think that being in a relationship is difficult. In fact, being in a relationship is great if you’re with the right person. The hard part is finding the right person. You see some couples trying to force themselves into liking each other and you’re like, “You know getting into an argument every single night isn’t normal right?” Then again there are other couples you see existing in the world that just make sense and you’re like, “Oh I get it.” The hard part isn’t being in a relationship, it’s the process of getting to the point of being in a relationship. To me, dating is the part that really drags. Dating is essentially just a series of long and awkward elevator rides that take place sitting down.

Many people have taken to online dating to help sort of streamline the matchmaking process. However, I believe we’re living in the worst time in history for online dating. Ten years ago it was new and cool, but now there are too many options, and we can’t decide what it actually is. No one can figure out if it’s great, forced, or just creepy. I’ve personally postponed it; because I couldn’t stand the idea of explaining to every person I meet that I met my girlfriend on Tinder. That answer will always be followed up by, “I thought Tinder was just for hooking up?” What am I to reply to after that? Am I now the weirdo for not using Tinder strictly for one night sessions of porking? I mean we’ve only had a few text message exchanges and a couple of hours of talking about where we’re from before the music at the bar got too loud to really hear what the other one was saying. Does that make me a hopeless romantic for not wanting to pork my potential future wife the first night we meet through the internet? I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with porking it’s just like… there’s more to life than just porking.

All I’m saying is don’t feel guilty enjoying the time you’re single. It’s the only time you have the freedom to do whatever you want to do. Who knows? Next year you may have found someone you really care about. But for now, you answer to no one.

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