You may have thought politics in 2016 couldn’t shit the bed any more than they already do, butt things are about to get even more shitty. Bernie Sanders supporters are actively planning to unleash weapons of ass destruction by carrying out “the world’s largest fart-in” at the Democratic National Convention in Philadelphia where the party will anoint Hillary Clinton as the Democratic party’s presidential candidate.
The convention opens on July 25 at the Wells Fargo Center in Philadelphia, butt Sanders supporters are assembling ass armies to carry out a fart of war. Do these people realize that they Philadelphia 76ers play at Wells Fargo Center, meaning it will be an extremely arduous task to stink up the joint more than they already do.
Cheri Honkala, protest leader and member of The Poor People’s Economic Human Rights Campaign, will host a pre-speech dinner of beans for delegates who support Bernie Sanders by releasing the noxious gas on their opponents.
Honkala elaborated on operation Brown Thunder:
“We will be holding a massive bean supper for Bernie Sanders delegates on American Street in my Kensington neighborhood on the afternoon of July 28. The Sanders delegates, their bellies full of beans, will be able to return to the Wells Fargo Center and greet the rhetorical flatulence of Hillary Clinton with the real thing.”
Seems a bit short-sided, sure beans are great fart fuel, butt what about broccoli, cabbage and oat bran? In other news, I apparently just had a mini-protest of my own that caused my wife to give me a scowl of disgust and move into the other room.
The fart of the matter is that Sanders supporters, who have never really been silent or deadly, believe the primary election system is rigged, benefitting rich politicians who can buy superdelegates.
“The Democratic primary process, as Sanders supporters now realize, was rigged from the start,” said Chris Hedges, a Pulitzer-prize winning author and activist. “The Democratic National Committee and the Clinton machine used a variety of mechanisms to game the elections including the appointing of superdelegates, the banning of independent voters from numerous primaries, purging voters from voting lists and using millions in dark money and from Super PACs to fund the Clinton campaign. Caucuses, as we saw in Nevada, were shamelessly manipulated on behalf of Clinton. Sanders never had a chance.”
“The Clintons have done enough damage,” Honkala said. “They decimated the working class with the North American Free Trade Agreement. They exploded the prison population under the 1994 Omnibus Crime bill and draconian drug laws that mandated life sentences. They destroyed the welfare system, and under the old system 70 percent of the recipients were children. They turned the airwaves over to a half-dozen corporations by deregulating the FCC. They ripped down the firewalls between commercial and investment banks that precipitated the global meltdown. There is not a war they don’t support. And their record on civil liberties is appalling. We cannot afford more of the same. We are either going to build third-party movements or an American Spring.”
The Democratic primaries ended last Tuesday, candidates needed 2,383 needed for nomination. Clinton won 2,806 delegates and Sanders had 1,880 delegates.
This is not the first time that flatulence was used as a political weapon. Saul Alinsky, writer of the 1971 book Rules for Radicals and widely considered to be the founder of modern community organizing, once threatened to stage a “fart in” at Rochester, New York.
Shit is about to go down (people’s legs because they mistook a fart for a shart).
[TruthDig]