I only get sick about 2-3 times a year, but when it happens I may as well be dead. DEAD. As in I’m borderline unconscious and completely useless (or at least moreso than usual) when it comes to doing anything other than eating froyo, sleeping, and wearing the same pair of underwear for 3 days straight because I’m so delirious that I lose track of time. In other words, I don’t really need a good excuse for calling in sick. But you? You’re a little shit eater who just wants to get out on the golf course during the off-peak hours of the day, aren’t you?
No worries — I get that…minus the fact that I don’t play golf. According to a new survey your best bet when it comes to having your boss believe that you’re stuck at home throwing your brains up rather than spending the day at the beach is to say you have the flu:
Flu was the most well received excuse although just 41 percent of bosses polled said thought it was acceptable
… It seems employers in general do not consider many ailments sufficiently serious to warrant taking time off – from migraines to recovering from surgery.
Flu was the most well received excuse although just 41 percent of bosses polled said thought it was acceptable.
This was followed by back pain and injury caused by accident at 38 percent.
Less sympathy was given to though suffering from stress, elective surgery, depression and anxiety.
Bosses were least impressed by those who took the day off citing a cold or migraine.
The survey also discovered that 8 percent thought none of these reasons were good enough to take the day off work.(via)
If you’re dumb enough to tell your boss “oh wahh my back hurts sick day plz” instead of something better like “I have spastic diarrhea and a mild case of gangrene,” you deserve to be fired. Doesn’t matter what company you work for, it’s probably better off without fools like you working there.