In case you missed the internet over the past 72 hours, Kermit the Frog inexplicably took over Twitter and Instagram. In an instant, Kermit went from loveable muppet, devoted inter-species boyfriend and overall good frog to a tea-sipping, racist, misogynistic, HILARIOUS puppet of Black Twitter.
It all started when the “sexy” felon, Jeremy Meeks, put the female gender into a frenzy with his mug shot. In typical dude fashion, we started hatin’ almost immediately.
Some guys attacked female relationship standards, others attacked Meeks, and one guy started making wildly reckless Kermit memes. Hey, when that light bulb goes off in your head, you can’t just turn it off.
Damn, looks like Kermit stole all of our girlfriends. You know what? It happens. Sometimes you’re not watching your girl and ignore the unsuspecting tea-sipping frog staring out of the window. Can’t have too many reminders to keep your head on a swivel.
Turns out, Kermit hates women. I’ll be honest, I definitely saw this coming. When you’re trapped in an abusive relationship with an overweight pig, you are going to need to vent sometimes. But damn, the Chinese noodles – ass comparison is one of the meanest things I have ever seen in my life and it is very clear that Kermit is fed up in his relationship. (Obviously, you vent on Twitter/Instagram when your girl is Miss Piggy. Don’t want to mess around and catch a heavy-hooved fist right before bed)
Kermit can drink milk and read various clipboards while he slanders your entire financial status, too. Kermit went from teaching kids how to treat people to sounding exactly like an argument on a poorly produced VH1 show. Speaking of kids…
The grammar was simply too on-point for me to fully trust these Kermit memes. That’s why this one is such a breath of fresh air. When you’re being petty, spiteful and one of the most hatin-est frogs of all time, there is simply not enough time to hit spell check. Kermit also messed around and broke some significant entertainment news right in front of our faces.
Just when you are convinced Kermit spends all of his days judging people and drinking gallon upon gallon of Lipton, he reveals that Beyonce and Drake are actually Blue Ivy’s parents. Or Jay-Z and Beyonce are Drake’s parents. Either way, bro is versatile. I can picture Jim Henson shaking his head in disappointment somewhere in heaven, but that’s none of my business.