I think by now you are quite familiar with Mohammed Abad, the unfortunate fella who was pushed into the street during a snowball fight when he was 6-years-old. A car hit Abad and dragged him nearly 2,000 feet, also ripping off his penis off and destroying one of his testicles. However thanks to modern medical marvels, science was able to provide Mohammed with a brand new, fully functioning bionic meat popsicle in July 2015.
Abad’s new donger is 8-inches long and features an implant that gives him erections at the touch of a button (I sure could use that on heavy drinking nights). Mohammed lost his virginity at age 43 by having sex with a sex worker who volunteered to ride his faux fuckstick.
And for Abad, just like everyone else, nothing is ever fucking good enough. The Sun reports that Mohammed is complaining that his imposter impaler is too big. So he decided to get a three-hour surgery to scale down his schlong. When it comes to bionic penises, this dude is doing it wrong. This was Mo’s 121 surgery on his beat up meat.
“I can’t wait to try it out,” he told the Sun. I’m looking forward to ‘getting the poetry in motion’.
“This is the last push – I am ready to go,” he said. “Once the stitches are out I will take the first opportunity to try it out.”
Dude, I felt sorry for you, up until the moment you started getting cocky. The fine doctors did you a real solid by giving you a fantastic 8-inch bionic dick and you have the audacity to be all Goldilocks and shit, “This cock is too big!” Getting a bionic dick and then asking for it to be average size is like having a Bugatti Chiron built especially for you, then when they’re all done, you say, “Yeah, 1,500 horsepower is too much for me, can you take this engine out and drop in a Toyota Corolla engine?” C’mon Mo, don’t be a dick and look a giftcock in the face.
Girl Gets Piercing And Punches Guy In The Nuts