Before we begin, I’d like to give everyone a quick vocabulary lesson on the word “sarcasm”:
Got it down? Good. The reason I’ve provided you with such a wonderful lesson today is because when I said “brilliant,” I meant it in a sarcastic way. This guy’s response to why his breath smelled like booze when he got pulled over was possibly the most horrendously stupid reason I’ve ever heard, but I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t sat here for a second and been like “Wait…could that work?”
Of course it couldn’t; it’s that dumb.
But I’m getting ahead of myself here because I haven’t even told you what this guy’s explanation was! So here you go.
During a recent traffic stop, a Wisconsin motorist who has nine prior drunk driving convictions on his record explained that the reason a sheriff’s deputy smelled booze on his breath was because he had just eaten beer-battered fish at lunch.
John Przybyla was pulled over by a cop who spotted the 75-year-old’s vehicle driving erratically. When the Adams County Sheriff’s Office deputy approached Przybyla — who was driving on a revoked license — he recognized the “smell of a moderate odor of an intoxicating beverage emitting from his breath.”
Przybyla’s eyes were also reportedly bloodshot and glassy according to police reports, and Deputy Brian Loewenhagen found an open can of Red Dog Beer on the passenger seat. When Przybyla was asked how much alcohol he had drank that night, he replied that he had in fact not been drinking, and that he was heading home after a fish fry that had beer battered fish on its menu.
Obviously, that didn’t work.
Przybyla was arrested after failing field sobriety tests, as well as for driving with a revoked license, a 10th drunk driving charge and possessing an open can of beer in a motor vehicle.
His court appearance is scheduled for January 21st.
[H/T The Smoking Gun]