Manslaughter is all fun and games until someone actually gets slaughtered, although in this case Redditor roadbumps got lucky – his crazy bitch of an ex-girlfriend managed to survive, although it was her fault in the first place that he ran her over. After breaking up with her and then being GRACIOUS enough to drive her home afterward, the girl starts clawing at his face instead of getting out of the car like any normal, sane person. He eventually pushes her out and starts driving away when…well, yeah.
The morning of the fuck up started off normally enough, until I noticed a text conversation in my phone that had not been there before. It was from an old friend of mine, a girl that I rarely talked to but still considered a friend, I’m sure you know the sort. We hung out maybe once every other month, to play halo and swap books. I opened it and read through a full conversation from my phone to the friend, none of which was written by me. My girlfriend had started the conversation, calling the other girl a whole suite of nasty words, pretending to be me, then switching to herself and telling my friend to “Stay away and never talk to Roadbumps ever again.”
Naturally, I was pissed. I mean, I was absolutely livid. I consider myself a pretty relaxed person, so I just dealt with all my girlfriends shit she pushed on me and accepted it, but this was the last straw, I was done. I told her that she had no right to be talking that way to my friends, and that I was done. I gave her a ride home, which was uneventful, save for her giving me a death stare the entire 30 minute drive. When we got to her house, she insisted on not parking up front. I though this was weird but at this point I had given all my fucks for the day, so I parked on a side street a short distance up the road.
I park the car, and she opens the door, then… nothing. Just sits there. It was an awkward silence while I waited for her to leave, each second seemed to last for hours. It was probably only 30 seconds but I felt like we had sat there for hours before I asked if she was going to get out. Apparently she was not, as she exploded in rage. Pulling out my keys from the ignition, throwing my phone out the door, and ripping the stereo faceplate out, she started screaming at me, yelling about how I’m such a loser and an idiot, not a real man, ugly and worthless.
I didn’t much give a shit about what she said, unfortunately yelling wasn’t good enough for her as she then attacked me with nails that I can only assume had been sharpened for this exact purpose. I managed to shield my eyes, but she shredded the side of my face, my ear, and my throat pretty bad. I started to panic at this point. She’s a tiny girl, but I’m not much bigger myself, and I sure as hell wasn’t going to hit her. I considered leaving the car and walking, but she had my keys and I didn’t trust her alone and angry with my car. After a brief struggle, I managed to get control of her hands and pry her fingers out of my face. Unable to use her hands to inflict pain, she turned to the only other available option, her mouth. The damn girl bit me! Thinking back on it now, I laugh but at the time it was pretty terrifying.
I was thoroughly fed up with the situation at this point and realized that I had to get out, and get out quick. I pushed her out of the car and onto the sidewalk and slammed the door closed. I smashed the lock button down repeatedly, praying to God that it worked, as I fished my keys out of the crack between the seats. The entire time I’m doing this, she’s pounding on the side window so hard that I’m surprised it didn’t break.
The second I get the keys in the ignition I fire it up and hit the gas. This wasn’t a very impressive display, as I was driving a early 2000’s Civic. It didn’t matter though, the only thing that mattered was getting away from her before she did any real damage to me. As I drive off, I head a dull THUD and a bump. I had a brief “wtf” thought, but chalked it up to some car part in the road. I didn’t worry too much about it, it was my body I was worried about, not my car’s. I was only until I turned off the small street onto the main street that I started to realize what had happened. As I had driven off, she had tried to run after the car and open the door. The car was going faster than she could go, she tripped and fell, and the bump I felt was the car rolling over her.
Obviously, this scared the hell out of me, she could be seriously hurt. I turned around and went back to the side street that I had left her on, to see her lying in the middle of the road and a SUV parked off the the side, idling. I ran over to the SUV, yelled at the lady inside to stop staring and call an ambulance, then ran over to where the girl was lying. Luckily, she was alive, and I helped her over the the side of the road where we sat down and checked the damage. She was okay, she had scrapes all up her legs and arms, but could walk and didn’t seem to have hit her head. At this point is where the Bing Maps car drives by. I told her that an ambulance was coming (or so I thought) and went back to the SUV to check on the status of the ambulance.
Turns out the lady in the SUV didn’t call an ambulance, she was on the phone with what I assume was a friend of hers. I could hear her talking about how she was “Scared for her life, the man is clearly violent.” Fuck her, she’s useless. I had no idea where my phone was and didn’t have the time to look, so I helped the girl into the car and drove her to the hospital where she got bandaged up and checked for broken bones. No broken bones, just bruises. She had given up on trying to kill me, so once we finally got done at the hospital I drove her back to her house, and she got out this time. I went home, had a couple beers, and never saw her, or the friend she had messaged, again. About a month later I remembered the Bing car and decided to take a look to see if I could see myself, and what do you know! The Bing car got the whole thing, me standing on the side of the road with the girl sitting on the curb, and the bitch in the SUV down the road a bit.
EDIT: Bit of a follow up!
Turns out she was cheating on me for the past 4 months as well, so… there’s that.