Bro Has An Epic One-Man Rave In Library And He’s Invited To My Birthday Party

This is how you start a Monday.

If I were studying with my girlfriend in that library and this dude put on a performance of that magnitude, I’d have to let her fuck him. At the very least, give him a passionate handjob. I’d go hide near the card catalog with my pecker in between my legs trying to grapple with the realization that I could never compete with this man’s grace, energy, and body control. It’s not something I’m happy about and I’m sure I’d pick a fight with her on the way home, but deep in my heart of hearts, I know that without losing, winning isn’t so great. And now I finally have some material to leverage a threesome with her friend, Kayla. The world is back in balance.

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.