There’s an old saying that goes the two best days of a man’s life are the day he buys his Bowflex Ultimate Home Gym and the day he sells his Bowflex Ultimate Home Gym.
Buying it brings exuberance, an excited, almost child-like glee at how soon you will be swole. An entire gym, right in your living room. Jacked lats, traps, delts, all within your reach. Just 30 minutes, three times a week.
Then, when the machine goes unused for months, selling it brings about utter bliss. All you want is to get that metal monstrosity out of your home.
Today will bring the happiest day of two Bros lives, for one Bro will be buying a Bowflex from this Bro, who is selling his with one amazing Craigslist ad
Get more ripped than Chuck Norris – BUY my Bowflex Ultimate Home Gym – $100 (Prospect Heights)
If you have made it this far congratulations, you are serious about your health. The path to Bowflex ownership (known as nirvana in some religions) is not to be walked lightly. You will face trials that humble lesser men. The doubts of family and friends must be ignored. You are strong and determined and think the 90s were pretty fucking rad.
The Bowflex Ultimate Home Gym is the pinnacle of home gym technology in 1993. It offers something like 45,000 different exercises. This monument to SWOL has the extra 100 lbs upgrade resistance package. If you didn’t intend to max out the 410 lbs (that’s 185 kg for all you euro bros) you wouldn’t be here in the first place. Remember you can’t spell LEGENDARY with out leg day. The Bowflex Ultimate Home Gym has got your stems covered here as well with a brilliantly designed leg extension. The features of this machine are too numerous to list here, and thankfully a PDF of the owners manual is still around
Included with the Bowflex Ultimate Home Gym is a laminated double sided poster of exercises that looks at home in even the most chic SoHo loft. The laminated part is important as sweat and protein shakes will be flying within a ten foot radius of your Bowflex Ultimate Home Gym.
This piece of American Iron is built to last. Unless you have been working out on one of these for the last few months you will need a friend to help move it.
Take a hold of your life and conquer your fears, buy my Bowflex Ultimate Home Gym.
The dedication to these machines is undeniable. Look at the tattoo my roommate got after just three weeks of living with the Bowflex Ultimate Home Gym.
*this is not to be confused with that piece of crap total home gym that shill Chuck Norris pimps.
If you wanna buy this Bowflex, here’s the link.