Unless you are Leonardo DiCapro (you’re not) you shouldn’t have a man bun. Man buns make you look like a hipster tool who has opinions about the least manly things possible: How tight your jeans should be, the price of kale at Whole Foods, kombucha tea, gluten-free beer, Anthony Bourdain’s latest trip to France, etc. Man buns are for tools. Fuck you if you have a man bun.
A group of South African Bros are terrorizing the man bun-wearing hipsters of what looks like Capetown by giving so-called “drive-by haircuts.” The gist is this: They run up to dudes at public cafes or on the sidewalk and cut off their man buns before jumping in the car and driving away.
Hipsters everywhere should be running scared. Unless you’re Leo OR Fat Jew, who has the most impressive man bun hair I’ve ever seen. No one fucks with Fat Jew.