Paging my boy Bert the Broker and all you Patagonia-wearing, Brothing Jimmys-loving, “I-work-in-finance” job-having, Avicii-listening, Waffles McButter-era BroBible readers (…I know you’re still out there): If you need a new living situation in Murray Hill that’s convenient to Tonic, the Joshua Tree, and The Flying Cock, we’ve got your back.
A BroBible reader just hit us up that he’s looking for like-minded individuals to live and chay with him around Murray Hill. Here is Joe’s very real Craigslist listing, complete with a Barney Stinson reference that feels so awesomely 2011.
Chay on, Joe the 26-year-old software developer. See you at Chiddy Bang’s reunion show. We’re pulling as many strings as possible to get Chris Webby to open for them. Brought to you by Liquid Flow — shorts you can swim in.
Murray Hill guy roommates wanted (Murray Hill)
I’m looking to unite 2 to 5 dudes in their mid-twenties together to create the most fun group of roommates in all of Murray Hill.About me: I’m Joe, a 26 year old software developer who just moved to Manhattan from Baltimore and I’m looking to move in to a Murray Hill apartment with fun roommates in early/mid March.Hobbies: Working out, staying up way too late on weeknights, chasing women who do yoga three times a day and live off Tasti D-Lite.
Roommate activities: Flag football, NFL Sundays, happy hours at Brother Jimmy’s, Natty Light pre-games, singing along to Bon Jovi songs at Joshua Tree, and making every night legend. . .. . … wait for it. . .. . … DARY!!!
Roommate requirements: Must be able to pay rent on time, preferably be able to move by March 1st, and enjoy the activities mentioned above.
Type of apartment I’m looking for: Looking to get something cheap and affordable for everyone. Converted two, three, four bedrooms, etc. Probably in a walk up. It works best if you don’t have a ton of crap to move in.
How to apply: If this seems like a good fit for you. Send me an email with a description of yourself, what your looking for, and maybe links to social media profiles. I will respond promptly.
Not gonna lie — If I was like five years younger I’d be all about pounding Bud Light Lime-a-Ritas with this guy on a Tuesday night and making HIMYM references during happy hour at Tavern on Third. Just don’t give that fucking bar your cell phone number — They’ll never stop texting you, no matter how many times someone in your group of friends wins the stupid free happy hour.
If you’re interested, hit Joe up here so I can say I’ve done my good deed of the day. All I ask is that you aggressively save all your Snap stories of your burgeoning bromance and send them to me for content here (email@example.com) on this wonderful website.
P.S. — I dream of the day we can bring back Bert The Broker and the Ultimate Lax Bro. I think I’d gleefully empty out my savings account just to make new videos of these guys.
P.S.S. If you read this entire thing and was like “what in the actual fuck is this guy talking about?” — I get that. OGs remember.