Canadian Police Are Forcing Drunk Drivers To Listen To Nickelback On Their Way To The Slammer As Extra Punishment

Poor Nickelback. It’s not even funny to make fun of them anymore because I’m concerned they’ll hurt themselves. There’s only so many times a group of people can be told to die in a fire before they light the match. And their songs aren’t even that bad. Ok, that’s a stretch, I’d rather listen to my parents have sex than “Photograph.”

And now their own country is turning against them. They were a national treasure until Bieber came along and now Canada seems to have forgotten what made them relevant. Police in Kensington, Prince Edward Island, Canada, have taken measures to deter people from drinking and driving by threatening them with listening to Nickelback on the way to the slammer.

At the end of the day, Nickelback is getting the last laugh because the band is worth an estimated $60 million. I’d chop my dick off and staple it to my forehead for that cash. The online ridicule is relentless though:

[h/t Variety]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.