Chet Haze, Son Of Tom Hanks, Wants To Use The ‘N Word’ And Gather Around Because He’s Explaining Himself


From Chet’s Instagram account:

If I say the word nigga I say it amongst people I love and who love me. If I say “fuck yall hatin ass niggaz” it’s because that’s really how I felt at the time. And I don’t accept society getting to decide what ANYBODY can or can’t say. That’s something we call FREE SPEECH. Now I understand the older generation who grew up in the Jim Crowe era might have strong feelings against this. And that’s understandable… But what I’m saying is this is 2015… And even tho we are still far from where we need to be and black people are still being literally KILLED by a RACIST and fucked up system… We have also reached a point where the word can no longer have a negative connotation if we so choose. And who is to say only black people can use it? The way I see it, it’s a word that unifies the culture of HIP-HOP across ALL RACES, which is actually kind of a beautiful thing. It’s a word that can be used out of camaraderie and love, not just exclusively for black people. What’s the point in putting all these built up “rules” about it. It’s time to let go. You can hate me or love me for it, but can’t nobody tell me what I can or can’t say. It’s got nothing to do with trying to be a thug. It’s about the culture of the music. And that’s all I have to say about that (no pun intended) lol. It’s all love. Some people will get it, some people won’t. Either way, Ima keep living my life however the fuck I want. ALL LOVE.

Wait, is his birth name ‘Chet?’ Because if it is, I blame Tom fully. You can’t just name your kid Chet and hope that he’s going to act like a regular person with the douchiest name in human history. Just like cancer or high blood pressure, Chet was predisposed to being a douche nozzle before they cut off his umbilical cord. Raise your hand if you know one Chet you can stand being around without having the urge to slit your wrists and do pushups in alcohol. Anyone? Bueller? Well there’s your answer. By no fault of his own, this poor bastard was subjected to the life of a Chet. Chets wear pastel pants and grow obnoxious pony tails or become rappers who defend using racially-charged terms they have no business using in the first place. There’s no in between. No middle ground. Game over. Chet mate. I hope you’re completely content with being one of the greatest actors of all-time and all the fame and women that come with it, Tom. Your son is drowning from the anchor you tied to his feet at birth.

If you need more Chet in your life, check out the interview we did with Chet back in 2011. He did not use the N word ONCE. Chet.

[H/T Barstool]

Matt Keohan Avatar
Matt’s love of writing was born during a sixth grade assembly when it was announced that his essay titled “Why Drugs Are Bad” had taken first prize in D.A.R.E.’s grade-wide contest. The anti-drug people gave him a $50 savings bond for his brave contribution to crime-fighting, and upon the bond’s maturity 10 years later, he used it to buy his very first bag of marijuana.