So, my school has been on strike for a while, which means a bunch of college kids doing nothing but partying every single night. So one of these nights a buddy has a party. So I have a case of beer, play some drinking games, and then head over to the bar for a couple more drinks. And so far it's a pretty average night.
Then I start talking to a girl. She mentioned she only likes country guys, and I am very much not a country guy. But just then the one country song I knew came on. So I'm thinking, money in the bank. And I was right, couple verses in she said she wanted me. So we went back to my place, and at this point it was still a fairly average night.
We then spend the next few hours doing what can only be described as the physical act of love. And it got pretty dirty. I put her in any position I could think of. I'd put it in her butt, then in her mouth, then back in her butt, because I am a romantic. I even filmed some of it. Then things started to take an interesting turn. I'll remind you that I was very very drunk this night. Which meant I really couldn't finish the deed. And normally this is fine. The problem was that this chick was pretty freaky, and she made it very clear that she was not leaving until she got a facial. But it's 4am and I just want to go to bed. So she's got me pointed right at her nose and she's just going to town on me trying to get me off. And I know it's not happening. So in my drunken state I think maybe I can force it out? Nope. Pissed all over her face…
Luckily this girl was either stupid, drunk or both. Because she didn't realize it was piss, so she was all smiles. And I got away with the perfect crime.
Didn't realize it was piss? Impossible. Completely impossible, really. You'd have to be the only human at a horse bukkake party to even try to get a stream of piss to pass as semen.
NEXT!
This past weekend, two of my good friends, John and Nick that went to my high school and go to college about an hour and a half away from me decided to come up and visit for the weekend. They get here friday night and we decide to immediately start pre-gaming for a party that we are going to later.
Fast forward to later in the night and we're all feeling pretty good. I then get a knock on my door from the girl that lives across the hall from me. We'll call her Ginger since she has red hair. Now Ginger was probably a solid 8 and I had only fucked her once with the first occasion being the day before everything in the story happened. We all drunkenly invite her in and start taking shots and by #5 she is already gone.
Her and Nick, who I must add is a fellow ginger, go out into the hallway and start talking. While they are doing this me and John go to my car to pick up something in my car. On our way back we see nick and Ginger sitting face to face and as we walk up John asks them if they're ready to go to the party since it was already about midnight when all of a sudden Nick and Ginger start hardcore making out right in front of us. I then spring into action give Nick my keys so he can go hook up with Ginger in my room and do his thing.
The next night rolls around and the three of us along with some of my other friends from college decide to go downtown to a club. We get back around 3 a.m. and we're all starting to sober up so we start to finish off the rest of the southern comfort that we had. John was more fucked up then all of us and was laying in my bed about to pass out. I then get a text from Ginger who was pretty drunk at the time as well, so I tell her to come over thinking my boy can get round 2.
She gets here and we're all talking and drinking in my room. I was making fun of her for hooking up with Nick the night before when out of no where she just flat out as hard as she can punches me in my left eye. Now, I was so drunk I didn't feel a thing but I wasn't expecting it so it kind of knocked me off my feet. I'm yelling at her and calling her every curse word probably known to man when all of a sudden she jumps on top of John, grabs his dick and starts making out with him. I somewhat sober up, grab Nick and lock them in my room so they can do their thing.
The next morning the first thing I do is wash my sheets and kick Ginger out since she had slept in my bed with my friend while Nick and I slept on my suite-mate's floor. After this weekend I realized that Ginger was a dirty whore and that I was glad those guys were getting my sloppy seconds. When they leave, I say goodbye to them, sharing a new bond with them that can never be broken.
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[Girl Showering image via ShutterStock]
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