Chili’s Is Now Your Desperate Ex: Spending Almost $1 Million To Make Their Food Look Edible So You’ll Instagram It



Chili’s was the shit when I was younger. At least 90% of their menu is fried, and what isn’t fried is drowning in cheese to compensate for the lack of fat and grease that all Chili’s customers have come to expect. But then something happened, kinda like what went down with Pizza Hut:

It got gross.

I don’t know if it’s just me or if it’s everybody, but Chili’s has gone way way wayyyyy downhill. Like you know how far downhill Corey Feldman is? Get a backhoe and dig down a few more miles towards the center of the earth and you’ll find Chili’s. The only reason to go there anymore is if you enjoy taking large greasy dumps immediately after eating, and while that’s all good and fun maybe once a year I know there are some people who live to have their small intestine write emo poetry along the lines of “Why do you hurt me so bad” on a weekly basis. Come on people, you deserve better…well, some of you do at least. Maybe like, 2 of you if we’re being completely honest.

But unlike many poopy restaurants, Chili’s is aware of how much it sucks and wants to change that. Good for you Chili’s! Are you going to revamp your recipes? Change your menu? Stop frying everything within reach?

…you’re going to blow $750,000 on making your food not look like shit because you want people to Instagram it?

Chili’s says it’s spending about $750,000 to make their burger buns look better so customers will take pictures of of their food and post them online.

The funding goes toward putting an egg wash on the buns, which gives them a photogenic glaze.

‘It just makes it look great. It glistens, it shines,’ said Wyman Roberts, CEO of Brinker International, the parent company of Chili’s.

The new buns were introduced this past fall after the chain hired a brand consulting firm to help keep its menu in step with changing attitudes about food.

The firm, Continuum, came up with the idea of seeing everything through the filter of ‘New School’ customers, who sound a lot like millennials but aren’t defined strictly by age.

In addition to using burger buns with an egg wash, Roberts said the chain also recently started serving its fries in a stainless steel holder that ‘looks cool’…

‘They are not going to do things if they don’t believe it’s shareable,’ Creed said in describing millennials.(via)

Maybe people would Instagram your food if it didn’t taste like spoiled ass, ever think of that?

And what the hell is this “shareable” crap? Whoever told these people millennials like to share stuff is a misinformed liar. Millennials like food that isn’t drowning in grease and won’t give them the runs for a solid 48 hours afterwards. Millennials DON’T like:

1. Being called millennials
2. Being pandered to
3. This stupid marketing crap that doesn’t make any fucking sense
4. Chili’s

Case closed.

[H/T Daily Mail]